“Buried in Sand” Introduction

Notes for the reader; instances were there are “(brackets)”, these are remarked by the storyteller to the audience/reader.

Night had fallen at The Farm, the last fragments of humanity living in a small house, a shed and a barn. In any case it was better then sand. The air was nice and cool, I looked up at the same stars that had tormented me just weeks or so prior. But tonight they were beautiful. The wind began to slowly pick up, closing my eyes, I accepted it. I could feel it in my long ragged hair, brushing my beard back against my neck. I took in a deep breath, cherishing every moment…I had gotten to used to the dry dusty air. For a moment I was free from the burdens of my own mortality, till I opened my eyes.

Before me stood a young women with golden hair and soft blue eyes. She was waving a hand in front of my face as if standing so close to me hadn’t already gotten my attention. I replied with, “What can I do for you?”, giving her a once over for some form of identification, noticing a pair of welding goggles and a tool belt. “Engineer”. She replied, “I had my hands full when you arrived so we didn’t get to speak, but I was wondering if I could ask you about that ship you flew here in on?” Before I made my response I faintly heard someone cry out “Hey Titan?!” Responding to the Engineer, “What was is it that you wanted to know? It’s just a scavenged ship, she’s doesn’t look like much, but she got me home. Anyway…you can use any of its parts if you need, don’t think it’ll fly much further now anyway.” She seemed both a little uneasy and excited at my remarks toward my ship. Excited that she would have something interesting to work on as well as displeased at the idea that I wouldn’t need it anymore. Again another cry came from far behind me, “Hunter?!” but I didn’t think it was directed toward me. Looking in the direction of my ship and back to me the Engineer asked one more time, “You sure you don’t need it to get around?”. With a sigh, looking at the ground then back up to her, “With where I plan to go next, I’ve decided to walk. Plus from where I see it, you’ll need anything and everything you can get your hands on.” Gesturing all around us. She gave me a long appreciative look till we were interrupted by a cry that this time most likely directed towards me, “Hey Old Man!?”.

Looking in the direction of the shout, I spotted a group of guardians accompanied by a few civilians around a fire pit, they were all waving me down. Looking back at the Engineer, she was giving me a questionable smirk. “What?”, was all I got out. “They seem to want your company…go on enjoy yourself while you can, I’m gonna go enjoy you ship.” Lightly punching my shoulder, then turning to leave. I stood there for a moment watching her walk away accepting the fact that I’d never see my ship in one piece again, then I turned toward the pier and made my approach toward the Guardians who happened to be waiting on me.

It was a warmer welcome then I had expected, I guest that with my unexpected arrive a few days ago had made then curious. But it seemed that what they really wanted from me was a story, they had seemed to have been telling their own till one of them saw me talking to “Holliday” they said her name was. Accepting the offer I sat at a opposing section to the other around the fire pit upon some old worn out cushions. With a almost sorrowful intake of breath I began.

Between the events of the slaughter at Mare Imbrium on the moon and before some of you where brought back by the Light as a guardian, the Vanguard began grow weary of activity of the Cabal, which as of that moment was unknown. All we had to go on were the blatant communications coming from Mars (not like they where trying to be discrete). Through our resources were limited, we could gather enough information about the Fallen from on the ground scouting and from listening in on their communication, the Hive we knew they were hiding in the Moon, surely growing in strength with their twisted experiments and magics, an we could monitor surface activity with what satellites that we had left. But the Cabal were a mystery, our sat-link didn’t stretch that far and all outpost signals went dark ages ago, so the Vanguard had to come up with some plan to find out whatever they could. After a month of debate they finally decided to send a small fireteam of Hunter Vanguard members to Mars, to measure the Cabal’s footing and likelihood of an attack on the Last City.

Decent, if dour, beginning.
A few things:
One - Dialogue. Whenever a new character starts talking, you need to make it a new paragraph. It’s proper formatting and much easier to follow that way.
Two - There are some grammatical/spelling issues. You weren’t consistent in capitalizing Guardian, in the second to last paragraph you have “guest” instead of “guessed”, and in the same paragraph you have “till” when it should be “until” or " 'til".

And, I’m sorry, but the first thing that came to mind when I read your opening sentence about it being better than sand was this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_60Jfwsylb8

Thanks for the feedback jsm1978. Still working on all my spelling and grammar. The story does pick up but, the lack of feedback stunts my writing. For the dialogue I’ve been jumped back and forth with the formatting.

Yeah, i agree with @jsm1978. If you properly formatted the story introduction, then you would change the length of the story (page wise) significantly. Also, because of the way you formatted it, I was confused about who was talking more often than not. Other than that, great introduction! I would love to see where this goes when you are finished with the product. Good luck!