I’ve fixed the interactions between Pluto and diablo when diablo finds she’s a hellhound
I added section 4, hope it’s as detailed as it should be
Alright! We’re getting better with the detailing and all that. But I still don’t understand why everything is the way it is. I really hope this is cleared up later because I don’t get why Pluto is the way she is. Why not just have her be a wolf or a human. And why a Hellhound at all? It feels like there’s just things being tossed in there to make the story more interesting or mysterious but it comes off as confusing because it isn’t given any narrative explanation and that is not good. When something as big as defying the logic of the universe is just thrown in with no explanation, multiple times even. It just begins to devolve to a cluster fuck (sorry but it needs to be put that way).
But the “fix” to the questioning is sorta just glossed over. Which I am not too keen on but I’ll take what I can get. As stated before, the lack of explanation of lots in the narrative combined with the rapid skipping through of points like the battle with the Fallen at the camp. We get like one line of battle for a pretty major thing like opening up the entire solar system to Diablo. When I say lack of detail, that is what I mean. Another thing is the fact that there is no evidence of any life on Venus other than Risen, Fallen, and Vex (and maybe Ahamkara but they’re all supposed to be dead). Yet you treat it like Earth. Which is just… why? Why have it be Venus at that point? Just have it be Earth and instantly most of the problems disappear. And he can just fly to the outskirts of the wall.
Yeah but Venus is where the fallen was ere going and he didn’t have control of the ship
They could have feasibly been going to Earth too.
Yeah but I chose venus
-_- Whatever floats your boat man.