My first Destiny Fan Fiction Story. Feedback is appreciated

This is a fan fiction, that I consider to be a story in the backstory of my Hunter. This particular story was heavily inspired by events in Forsaken and the story of Shin Malphur. It is named “The Duskfire Duel”. Please check out the link and I hope you’ll enjoy…https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vQYUUj-2AXbDFNb6QFKkz--dm8jOyBT6PrgSIqmqXyymWM6GxXosuq99TvCDVbuxebxujSL3BHtEmHG/pub

Interesting. I would definitely be interested in reading more at some point.
Couple things:
This line feels awkward - Leo tried to raise his rifle and then groaned in pain as he realized as he had fallen to the ground it had been blown apart by another black bullet.
Also, near the end you used “your” when it should have been “you’re” when talking about seeing “her” again.

Yeah that line needs to be changed for sure, let me fix those things real quick…

Pretty good dude. I am working on a fan fic myself and have completed Chapter 1 (so far) and am working on a longer more novel/novella.

Yeah, right now I’m writing short stories detailing the lives of my main Fireteam. Eventually I’ll write a story with all of them together.

Sounds fun. Hope it goes well for you.

Thanks! You too Guardian.

I am planning on posting my first attempt at a novel with Destiny. It’s called “Twilight” and follows Sora, a Warlock, and her fireteam (Fireteam 7) in the events in and leading up to the Battle of Twilight as interpreted by myself. I was re-reading it last night and fixed up the mistakes I could see. Keep in mind this was made in around September and October of last year so expect the lore be a bit off (and let’s face it I haven’t learned much more) and there to be a few errors in grammar or missed spelling errors (I was editing at 10 pm which is usually when I try to go to sleep) but don’t just let them go unnoticed please.

Sounds very cool, be sure to send me a link or something I’d love to check it out.

I have yet to post it but soon I will