The Legend of voxis

Yes this is another story arc however this one has much more writing that that of shadow’s story so enjoy!

The hunter known as voxis was in a fire team of six people fighting the taken king, they had made their way to the daughters of oryx when voxis was made relic holder by the sisters, he successfully did his job but…. something went wrong he was scattered across space and time, one version of him good, one version of him evil, after that his fire team thought he was dead however to their horror they found out he survived and resurfaced after the red war, they learned this by seeing him become merciless hunter in the crucible where he had killed 666 guardians completely which means he had killed the guardians and their ghosts, his fire team found out he had gone down a path of darkness just like the infamous dredgen yor, one day his old fire team leader, M.S, walked into the same ramen shop voxis was in, he sat down and asked “so why are you called the bane of the crucible now?”, “I’ve been called many things, a failure, a blight, even once the drifter referred to me as Dredgen Yor” he replied “I’m surprised you are still allowed in the city” M.S says “well they did find new ghosts for the guardians I killed so they don’t care” Voxis says as 3 guardians he previously killed walks into the ramen shop and one says “hey we don’t take kindly to your kind round here”, “Well then, I guess I’ll just have to make like a thorn” he says and then pauses “and make rest for the wicked” he finishes as he pops a shot from the Sturm into all 3 guardian’s heads and walks out of the ramen shop, the three guardians laying on the floor, M.S is shocked and then goes to follow Voxis, M.S sees voxis flip a hunter’s knife in the air that looks like it’s a taken version of a hunter’s knife and he sees voxis turn to dust, even though he’s a warlock M.S picks up the knife and puts it on his belt as a momento to voxis, he then heads to their base, he opens the door and sees the remaining members of their fire team which is Icey who is the other hunter besides voxis, rust who is their titan and 04 the Exo known as the lord of stars whom is the other warlock besides M.S “M.S is it voxis? How is he? Where is he?” Rust asks “yes it is voxis, he is fine, I don’t know he turned to dust and dropped this” M.S replies as he sits the knife on the table, “whoa what the heck? A taken Hunter’s knife?” Icey says “yes it was voxis’, I believe because of this I know what happened to him during our raid on oryx’s throne world” M.S replies “what happened to him then?” 04 asks “I believe that-“ M.S starts to say before rust interrupts him “i will tell them M.S, I believe that when he was chosen to run relic he might have been torn apart across dimensions and he is just now regaining his physical body and he might have came here first”, “actually he mentioned someone named the drifter in the ramen shop, I don’t think this is the first place he has been since he’s been back” M.S replies then rust, icey and 04 Touch the taken hunter’s knife which turns them into taken guardians, they grab the knife and disappear, M.S is horrified and leaves the base and burns it down before he leaves so there is no trace of the fireteam M.S then goes on the Liam and resurfaces after the drifter comes back and is at the tower, M.S goes to the drifter in the tower and asks “drifter do you know of a man named Voxis?” He asks “why yes guardian I do, I called him dredgen yor once” the drifter replies “when did you two see eachother to have said that to him? Because he told me that and none of us knew you until recently “ M.S says “well while I ran with the shadows of yor we met him at a ramen shop, he challenged as he called them the famous shadows of yor of course they had ghosts so they wouldn’t die completely but it was 10 shadows of yor vs one Voxis and Voxis lit them all up with the Sturm faster than I’ve ever seen shin Malphur light anyone up with the last word, I turned to him and said that he was like dredgen yor being dark but as skilled with a hand cannon as shin malphur is, I was impressed and asked where he got those skills and he replied with-“ the drifter is cut off as Voxis appears out of nowhere “I replied with I’m torn between dimensions” he says “Voxis? YOUR KNIFE TURNED ICEY, RUST AND 04 INTO TAKEN” M.S Yells at Voxis “that’s the point I’ve almost rebuilt my fireteam all I’m missing is you” Voxis says “ooooooo looks like we have a rivalry here, let’s settle this with a match in the ring Voxis vs M.S” the drifter says “yes sounds great” Voxis turns to dust again, M.S heads to the drifter’s ship where you can see the other team, he sees Voxis, Sturm in one hand, drang in the other “your light is crushed here Voxis, M.S no revives the one to die loses, the one to survive wins and becomes my favorite guardian” the drifter says, Voxis and M.S are teleported to the arena, primary weapons only, M.S is using bad juju, they clash Voxis shoots off M.S’s left hand and then shoots a hole straight in the middle of the side of the bad juju splitting it in half, M.S picks up an old thorn projectile and shoves it into the chest of Voxis, Voxis hits a shot through both of M.S’s lungs, Voxis waits the 3 minutes before M.S suffocates to death, “we have a winner!” Drifter says as he lifts Voxis’ Hand in the air to declare him Winner and millions of guardians watch in horror, unlike dredgen yor when challenged Voxis came out victorious, he rips the thorn projectile out of his chest and the poison just makes him more powerful.

Voxis then stabs M.S with his hunter’s knife and it turns him into a taken version of a warlock in the deathsinger armor set from crota’s end raid, Voxis has M.S say a chant which is novisavisiair and what it does is it opens an ascendant portal in the tower, the ascendant portal leads to a throne world that shows a world of red skies and black grass, red water as well. The drifter walks into this throne world and sees this as well as a temple, it resembles a taken/vex version of a medieval castle in Europe, it’s front door is a portal because it has a smaller throne world inside of this castle which holds an ever changing taken/vex mansion which is bigger than the planet of the normal throne world, drifter walks into this other portal and is taken straight to the throne room of Voxis, he sees the Taken icey, rust, and 04 to voxis’ left and the taken M.S to voxis’ right, “Voxis nice throne world, when did you make it?” Drifter asks “this is where I’ve been living minus the times I was in your world for short times since the raid on oryx’s throne world” Voxis replies “mind if I use it as a gambit map?” Drifter asks “no, they are only allowed here if they except the darkness and want the power I have as a darkness guardian” Voxis replies in an instant he puts out his hand and the drifter flys through the portal leaving the the throne room and then flys out of the portal leading to the throne world from Voxis pushing him. After 1 year of the ascendant portal being dormant it opens again and Voxis exits it, he is in a really shiny white, gold and purple version of his normal black and red armor, he also has a different cloak on(iron banner season 5 cloak in white and gold) he walks to the stage and starts a speech “guardians of the last city it is I, Voxis the champion guardian, now today I have come to issue you all a challenge of emperor Calus sized proportion which is why I wear white, gold and purple armor today, now that challenge is to defeat my best warriors 1v1, the trick is if you die you don’t revive so be careful guardians and trek lightly on this hallowed ground” he says as he disappears, a new destination appears on all guardian’s directors, shin malphur hears of this and he goes to this challenge arena in the throne world of Voxis, Voxis knows who shin malphur is and he says this “welcome to my arena, shin malphur, rogue hunter of the traveler, it is nice to see you, perfect timing, you can fight my best champion” he says as dredgen yor with the original thorn steps out of a door. Shin malphur was surprised to see dredgen yor, he decided not to care and drew his last word, dredgen his thorn although something felt wrong, shin saw dredgen’s hammer is golden not black like the thorn’s, he has modded the thorn then Voxis yells “FIGHT!” and dredgen lights shin up faster than shin ever could have thought possible from the thorn, shin and his ghost turn to dust after he dies so he can’t be resurrected. Dredgen laughs and puts his thorn away. Voxis sends dredgen back to his quarters and Carolina sees the portal in the tower and whispers “darn it Voxis” as she enters the portal and heads to the colosseum Voxis has built. “Voxis fight me” Carolina says as she draws the sunshot, Voxis draws the Sturm, Carolina laughs and fires the sunshot as fast as dredgen yor did the thorn, Voxis does the same, stale mate because they just shot eachother’s bullets out of the air. “Wow 20 years and you still can’t hurt me can you? As much as you want to” Carolina says

Voxis sighs and fires again Carolina dodges and fires back, hits Voxis in the neck, Voxis drops to the ground.

Voxis starts twitching(think taken shiver) Voxis turns to lava which the lava just becomes a puddle of lava, Voxis appears in the tower in destiny 1 grey set of wolf pelt weave armor which he is also wearing the cloak of taniks, he has 2 shock daggers, 2 shock swords, lord of wolves, dreg’s promise, queenbreaker’s bow, will not bow, and a fallen bow, unlike any seen before, it looked similar to a combination of wish ender bow and le monarch but a fallen version, he went to the tangled shore, the fallen there were confused by his armor and weaponry but understood he had ripped it all off their brethren and attacked him, it was 20 fallen reaver captains vs 1 reborn voxis, Voxis then shoots his bow at 5 of them and it creates a ball of black energy that doesn’t physically do anything of them but mentally it rips them apart and the color of their armor drains from them leaving them grey, he then does the same to 10 more of the reaver captains and he then kills the last 5 of them with lord of wolves, white orbs leave the captains when then color drained from them, the white orbs go to Voxis and Voxis puts them into a jar. The guardians figure out what voxis’ bow is which is the dead man’s bow which it has 3 intrinsic perks to chooses from, the wish ender bow’s intrinsic, le monarch’s intrinsic and it’s own intrinsic perk which is called soul collector, it takes the target’s souls and gives them to the bow wielder and without souls the targets lose their will so they now are under the control of the bow’s wielder.

Zavala goes to a ramen shop, same shop that’s cayde 6’s favorite ramen shop which was because he was sent there to find someone named hades because hades is one of the most obscure(unknown) but also most well known hunter because he has a different values than other guardians, hades could care less if the traveler or the city were to die, Hades collects hand cannons, some famous ones he has are the thorn, hawk moon, last word, and the crimson, hades wore a lot of exotic armor, no one knows what his subclass is but whatever it is most enemies aren’t the same after seeing it, regardless he has a custom hand cannon called Dead Man Standing, it is a Copy of the last word but the gold repainted silver and it is deadlier, it keeps the fan fire from the last word but it also has the no backpack perk from the ice breaker and the thorn’s mark of the devourer perk, he also has a sword that combines the special abilities from young wolf’s howl, rare lighter, dark drinker and bolt caster combined into one sword, it switches it’s handle and blade look back and forth between the mentioned swords which will tell you what ability it is about to use however it’s blade is pure jet black and it’s crystal is crimson red, the sword’s name is The Devil’s Nightmare. “Hades the vanguard needs your help” Zavala says “why, why should I care and what’s in it for me?” Hades replies “you will get free roam of the city and the solar system and you get free ramen from this shop” Zavala anwsers “That doesn’t tell me what you want” Hades says “ cayde is dead and we need a new hunter on the team” Zavala says “fine but you also owe me lunch at the most expensive restaurant in the city and 5 24 packs of soda“ Hades says “Alright deal” Zavala says as he shakes hades hand and it makes a cold chill go down zavala’s spine as if he’s just shook hands with death. Zavala leaves and hades follows him back to the hall of guardians, as he enters the room everyone including the drifter gets a cold chill down their spine and the room goes from 70 degrees Fahrenheit to 30 degrees Fahrenheit instantly.

“So ikora What hunter do you all need help defeating this time?” Hades asks “That’s something I like about you, your straight to the point and don’t even bother trying to waste time, regardless there’s a hunter named Voxsis who’s been a real trouble maker for us for a while and we need you to help us take him down” ikora says “Alright, his weaponry?” Hades says “he wears fallen armor and uses fallen weaponry, however he also has been seen using the Sturm and Drang” ikora says “very well, his head shall be on a platter within hours” Hades says as he walks to the hangar and goes to get on his ship which is the one thousand wings ship and then Amanda Holliday walks over to him “hey hades, wanna date?” Amanda asks “no, I know enough about this universe and how messed up it is to not burden anyone with this knowledge, plus you don’t want to date a dead thing” Hades says as he transmats into his ship and he flies to the dreadnaught, one thing no one ever knew about hades was he was friends with oryx, so he was ascendant, the hive and taken there let him open the portal and enter it which brings him to voxis’ throne world which he finds voxis “voxis the names hades, I challenge you to a fight” Hades says “it’s your grave” voxis says as he draws the Sturm and Drang, Hades uses the hawkmoon to get a headshot on voxis to take down his shield, he then switches to last word and fires all 8 rounds into voxis which gets him really close to dying then he switches to thorn and shoots voxis which hades then waits for him to die from the poison which he does and it makes his body turn to dust, hades then leaves the throne world using the dreadnaught portal and he has a green crystal in his hand and heads back to the tower and puts the crystal on the table of the hall of guardians “that’s his throne world, he’s dust, can shaxx turn that crystal into a powerful weapon?” Hades says “yes I can” shaxx says as he picks up the crystal and leaves. Shaxx comes back with a new gun which switches between a sniper rifle, scout rifle, and an auto rifle, the sniper rifle version looks like a green and black icebreaker, the scout rifle version looks like a green and black mida multi tool and the auto rifle version looks like a green and black version of red death. Shaxx hands the weapon to hades in it’s auto rifle form, “I dub it the -“ shaxx is cut off by hades “I dub it The Shell of Destruction”, “wonderful name” shaxx says “yes it is” hades says, he then goes to the dreadnaught and to oryx’s sword and says “rest in peace old friend” he says as he touches oryx’s sword and it turns into a gem that’s green on a necklace he has on (think power giving gem) and he is finally able to use is super correctly, his super is King’s Bane which it takes the gem he now has and imbues hades with the abilities of Oryx which makes him the new taken king, his right arm turns into a human sized version of oryx’s right arm allowing him to control the taken and hive. His cloak transforms into a cloak made of bones that can turn into wings that are pure black made from the Void. His first order of business is to rage war on the vex, fallen and cabal which he does so by having his taken and hive stop attacking the guardians and focus any fallen, vex and cabal near them. Meanwhile hades contacts the vanguard and tells them that the hive and taken are now their allies.

Hades contacts a disgraced fallen captain named Remus, “Remus, why do you hate the wolves so?” Hades asks him “skolas payed my men more ether to betray me and leave me for dead” Remus answers in a bitter tone “however I survived the betrayal unknown to them, I am thirsty for vengeance” he says “well your in luck, I want you to make a fallen house that will kill the other Kells and bring all the houses under 1 banner” hades says “will do” Remus says before hopping onto his pike and leaving, he heads to mars to find a vandal that’s the size of the archon priest that’s on the 1st mission of destiny who has joined and been kicked out of every single house “Rex, I want you to be 1 of two of my barons” Remus says to the towering figure of a fallen “Yes finally I will be accepted into a house, I accept” Rex says they then head to earth and Remus looks through the profiles of different fallen to find his second baron, meanwhile a eliksni in an old personal ship is flying past Saturn “finally, I have made my way to the rest of the fallen, I hope I haven’t been forgotten” he says, he puts his ship on auto pilot to earth and starts to fall asleep and he views his memories which starts on the day of the whirlwind. As a 10 year old eliksni vexivious shadus was the smartest 10 year old eliksni to ever live, his name was also one of the longest so people just nicknamed him Vex. He was trampled to the ground as everyone rushed to the ketches to escape the whirlwind that could spell the end of the eliksni, no one bothered to help him to the ships, he was left on his planet alone, angry with his people he stood up and cursed the eliksni by the name fallen and went home as the whirlwind happened but something happened to vex when this happened, he didn’t die instead he became more. Powerful than ever… as this happened he got an idea, he went around gathering scrapes of ships and buildings which he uses to make his own ship, they left tons of ether so vex creates a pocket dimension device which he uses to store all the ether that the fallen left behind. He then stores millions gallons of fuel for his ship that was left behind in the rush and he sets off in his ship, of course it take him longer to reach the solar system because his ship doesn’t have a drive to speed it up. Vex wakes up and he almost to earth, he slows down and lands in the EDZ. Remus sees the ship land and walks over to it “Who are you?” Remus asks vex when he leaves his ship “I am Vexivious Shadus, The Forgotten” he says “you may call me Vex for short” he adds “I am Remus, The Betrayed” he replies “I am Rex, The Breaker” rex says as he picks up a vex Minotaur and breaks it over his knee in half “why are you called the forgotten?” Remus asks “because when I was 10 years old and the fallen fled our home world i was trampled and left behind like a rat” vex says “you must be centuries old, what you remember of the past of the eliksni will be useful for my plans” Remus replies “what are your plans?” Vex asks “I am making a new fallen house that will bring the rest of the fallen under one banner” Remus replies “I am willing to be your baron then, however if you want to appeal to the ideals of what we were do not use the name fallen, use the name Eliksni” vex says “Understood” Remus replies.

It’s been 5 months since Remus formed the house of shadows and he has already killed the exile kell and put his soldiers into remus’s ranks. Meanwhile Remus has recovered a strand of Siva that rather than being a destructive technology it is slightly organic like venom from marvel but also mechanical, Remus has formed a bond with it and it has granted him and his soldiers abilities similar abilities of the old siva however Remus, Rex and Vex have been granted the ability of regeneration, not only that it isn’t transforming them into machines, rather it acts like a mechanical suit of armor, it also regenerates it’s self, in addition the fire of the old battle axes doesn’t harm it, in fact it makes the siva stronger, there are now three versions of siva from this 1 strand, orange and black siva which draws power from fire, blue and black siva which draws power from electricity, purple and black siva which draws power from Void and also green and black siva which is immune to all the three elements. An added bonus is if you so choose you can have this siva armor on and make it look like other armor so Remus uses this ability to make other houses think they are just normal fallen. Within the following months Remus has killed the kell of kings, winter and dusk, he has brought the soldiers of these houses under his banner, now only wolves stand to oppose remus’s rule, Remus finds this great but the Vanguard is worried that Remus might be trying What skolas did but is actually succeeding unlike skolas so they send guardians to take out Remus’s house of shadows, however Remus has rex dispatch the guardians with ease and this worries the vanguard even more for if one of remus’s barons can dispatch 30 guardians by himself then they have no clue the horror of a battle against Vex or Remus would entail but they don’t want to find out so they gather an army and march to war, the wolves under the control of skolas also march to war creating the war of 3 fronts, the vanguard and skolas are too scared of the House of shadow’s so they are at the back of their armies where as Remus, Rex, & Vex are at the front of their army because they know that their enemies won’t kill them, each army has 1000 soldiers, the wolves are the only ones with 1 leader which is skolas, his barons were killed long before this. After 8 hours of war 3 guardian soldiers and the vanguard are left of their army, only skolas and 2 captains of his army are left and in the house of shadows 500 soldiers are left as well as Remus, Rex & Vex “skolas surrender your house to us, and guardians leave to your tower” Remus says “never” skolas says, Rex grabs skolas and rips him in half, the wolves are now apart of the house of shadows, “we will not let your house stand!” Ikora says “if you won’t let us be a house then I will just have to burn the city to the ground, and you know I’m capable of it so back down” Remus replies. The guardians leave.

The Season of the drifter’s sinister tone has just set in recently, It’s a crucible match of the ages, the match is a free for all match and a foreboding figure encroaches upon the arena, he was a titan, he wore black armor with sickly green accents, his left pauldron looked like it had bear fur on it where as the right pauldron had a blanket of skulls on it, even though he was a titan he bore a hunter’s cloak on his back, this cloak was light, sickly green with black accents, it had a black rose and it’s stem on the back and to hold the two sides of his cloak and hood together on his neck area was a sickly green rose with black leaves. His hood was currently down, showing a helmet that most feared, the minute everyone in the crucible match saw him he looked familiar but they couldn’t pin their finger on it but shaxx could, immediately he messaged all the ghosts that they need to leave quick, before everyone could though they were already doomed, the stranger pulled out THE THORN which he used to quickly dispatch the 6 guardians there and put it back in it’s holster. Shaxx panics and calls Zavala about it, Zavala calls out to all guardians to go as far from earth as possible because this titan is Dredgen Yor, and he had to have been brought back by someone who knew who he was, Zavala immediately pointed fingers at the drifter but the drifter denied and then they realized, dredgen didn’t have a copy of the thorn, he had the original thorn, the only person who had the original thorn was hades, Zavala points fingers at hades now and hades owns up to his actions and says he resurrected dredgen yor, Zavala then calls a war on hades and hades accepts for he has a much bigger army then zavala.

  1. Jesus do you know what a period is?!?! please add some (commas are not periods, im sorry)

  2. despite this being one long sentence and how this string ideas together like a child, example: (alright this happened, and the THIS happened, ohh also this happened, and he did THIS as well) please add some storytelling aspects and transitions

  3. im not gonna rant about this, I have bad grammar as well, when unedited, which im assuming this is

  4. diolouge between chars are flimsy and I have a hard time telling who is talking till I read the end, then again, you’ve done worse so, good work! my advice it to try and put the charecter saying it in front of the speech, though i dont know how it would look…

  5. little to no char development

  6. im just going to say this, what the hell is happening, ive read this twice and im still confused

  7. does everyone fight vox in a anti climactic battle?

alright im done

Grade: F

this was disappointing to say the least

I for some reason don’t know why but I tell stories when writing them as almost a giant thought rather than a bunch of sentences

ya I read into that, still periods are needed mate

I know I was just stating why said thing is how it is

The story in the most simplistic manner is a guardian got lost to the void during king’s fall raid and he was missing for quite some time, once he came back he was different then he turned his old friends to taken and challenged the guardians, he was then dispatched and a guardian who was a friend of oryx and is a hand cannon collector then he stirs the pot by having another friend of his (Remus) create an op fallen house to get the two more obstacles (vanguard and the other fallen houses) out of his way

Hm… first off, Imma just point this out. How on Earth would he manage to Take a fellow guardian? No one but Oryx, (maybe) Malok, and (quite possibly) Savathun has been known to Take. So I may need evidence there.

Second, Oryx doesn’t make “friends” the closest thing he has is his sibling, Xivu Arath and Savathun. And he is BRUTAL to them (as per the Sword Logic). I’m all for going against the lore but there are certain limits that cannot be passed without it being considered an AU or at least an AT.

I personally have pulled a lot of stuff that shouldn’t make canonical sense given the lore, but it’s more so for me how I am interpreting what I am given.

Back to Oryx, now I have read through (some of) the lore and looked at the in game examples and I have learned how each race basically works. The Hive, for example, I know that for any even chance of possible change, would have to be literally taken from Hive society before they are able to be administered a Worm, and be taught ANYTHING about their culture or how they should conduct themselves.

As for Oryx? That’s impossible without literally changing the course of the entire universe, I.E. going back in time and either forming a bond with Auryx, in his early days of the Worm, or keeping Aurash and her sisters from finding the Worm, period, which likely would result in the timeline collapsing and you ceasing to exist. Suffice to say, I don’t think much of this is possible if you are trying to set this up in the canon Destiny universe. An Alternate Universe or Alternate Timeline (AU and AT) is much more plausible.

However, this is your choice as a writer. Not mine. I would suggest taking a look at some of the other people’s stories and trying to make yours better through that! I know this is a pretty harsh critique but I am not telling you to give up, I personally love writing! But I also have learned through past experience that you need to know what you’re handling and how the world you are writing in works as with those within. Otherwise you’ll end up being scorned and likely insulted for your attempts. It’s unfortunate and hard to stomach, I know. But it’s part of living and being human.

Good luck and keep on trying,

Hades has a certain distain for the guardians, he hates them just as much as oryx despite being one, also he uses the term friends but him and oryx are far from that, oryx almost killed him once over just being a guardian even though he hates guardians, voxis’s knife was infected by the taken and it can turn armor taken, not the actual guardian and with taken armor on it will put the guardian under his control.

Ah. Okay. I was thinking otherwise. I am not sure exactly how that would work but guardian armor does seem to have an effect on the Guardian inside as given with some of the VoG sets. However, it would be fairly easy to simply change the armor but I guess if it is a near instant transformation then it’d work…? But I dunno. Just what I got from your brief paragraph.