Twilight: A Destiny Novel (WIP)

Chapter 1

Fireteam seven

I am a guardian, Protector of light. Revived by the Traveller to fight back the darkness. Today has been very eventful. A colleague, Sayora-6 brought back news of a gathering of Fallen forces. She suspects an attack but isn’t positive. This news spread like wild fire through the Tower, soon making it’s way into the city. Gjallar, a member of my fireteam as well as an Iron Lord, says that we’ll be fine and to stop worrying. Kate, another Hunter in my fireteam, is anxious and thinks otherwise. Everyone else is neutral, in agreement with Gjallar, or in agreement with Kate. I personally am neutral. I can see it either way. The Fallen aren’t particularly strong but aren’t someone you want to mess around with either.

My name is Sora, I am a Warlock from Fireteam Seven. Other members of my team include Sayora-6, the Hunter from before, she may be an Exo but she can practically vanish into thin air. Sayora has a purple paint job with a horn, she is very intelligent for a hunter and calm too. Her armor is maximized for stealth, most everything she has is soundproofed and her guns are equipped with suppressors. Though she prefers to use weapons such as swords and bows when needed she will be loud and proud. Gjallar, a Titan and our leader, he is an Awoken. He looks to have a periwinkle hue to his skin with grayish white hair that seems to constantly blow in wind despite there being none. His fiery spirit is reflected by his wolf styled armor with some fur along the base of the neck that seems to smolder but never burn while his chest piece will occasionally spit out some molten bit of something from the seemingly everlasting fire within it. Kate, a Hunter, does nothing but worry and stay back. Being Awoken, her white hair, purple skin, and deep blue eyes calm almost everyone but her. Due to her worry wart self she is generally a sniper her helmet has roughly 10 different apparatuses to do everything from giving a full profile of her target to simply enhancing her vision. The rest of her armor is mostly optimized for mobility, her leggings extend giving her the ability to run pretty damn fast. Sledge, a Titan and human like me, is hyper aggressive, the guy specializes in nasty close quarters combat, he takes in so many hits you would think his armor in impenetrable. Most of the time when we come into a room after he entered it we see bodies with missing limbs, heads and the occasional spine, they are also riddled with puncture wounds from his armor with no less than a hundred spikes (I counted). He has deep voice and ebony skin. Finally we have Nobu-2, another Exo Hunter, he may be small but the guy is a freaking assassin. When he pulls out a blade of any kind you know someone or something is about to get it. His light blue paint job and battle scarred face seems nice enough at first but tends to be very menacing if you are on the other side of the sword. His armor reflects his graceful yet destructive ways. A short scarf surrounds his neck and a armor filled with hidden weapons and escape mechanisms. When fully geared he looks like someone straight from Assassin’s Creed —A ancient game I played— and we tend to stop telling short jokes when he is. I have an Asian skin tone and I live up to my ethnicity, I designed my armor after traditional Samurai attire. I most of the time keep my hair in a bun to keep it out of my face during battles.

Today we sit around a table in the Tower, playing poker. Gjallar is playing some classic noir music, Sayora is analyzing everyone’s faces, and Kate is freaking out. “Good god Kate!” Sledge exclaims, “What is it this time?”

“The Fallen are going to attack and we are so dooomed…” Kate says exasperated. While this is probably and over reaction. I could see where she’s coming from. The Hive wiped out everyone on the moon when they arrived, the Cabal did the same on Mars. So far we haven’t seen any feats of power too great from the Fallen.

“I guessed,” Sayora states calmly, “There is nothing saying that they will. The House of Wolves weren’t even there. The Queen locked Skolas up. We’ll be fine.” She isn’t wrong. Skolas was locked up and kept under the highest security due to his reputation. The Wolves were extremely violent and would backstab at every chance they got, If there was going to be an attack with all of the Fallen houses (including the Wolves) then the City would surely perish.

“Can we get back to our game? We’ll deal with the Fallen later.” Nobu responds. He seems very annoyed by the fretting of Kate. I don’t mind it if the reason she is worried makes logical sense. Some of the Warlocks of the Tower are saying if there is an attack they won’t be there for it. Cowards. I may focus on research but if the City needs my help I will defend it until I can no longer. While most civilians are on edge and begging the Vanguard to double the guard and defenses on the walls the Vanguard remain unconcerned. Which seems to worry the civilians more while at the same time calming them down, letting them know that everything is gonna be okay. Which is both commendable and concerning. If I were in their position I would boost the guard just in case, reassure the civilians, and forbid Warlocks from leaving until further notice. Of course, I am not a Vanguard member. So I can only hope this is what they do. After Nobu won the game we decided to head into the Cosmodrome to put Kate’s worries to rest.

We go to the Hangar and hop into our ships, we navigate to the Rocketyard. Once we drop in we pull out our weapons, I prefer my good ol’ assault rifle, The Honor Bound. We follow Sayora into a tower, we climb up into the rafters to stay out of sight. The place is crawling with Fallen, we ran into a few Vandals in the rafters, Nobu made quick work of them. Sledge begged us to let him go down and clear out the place, Gjallar had to pull him back up twice after his attempts to get into a fight. We are guided to a room at the top of the spire, four Fallen Barons surround a holographic map of the city, Kate looks at us, assumingely making a “I told you so” face under their helmet. Sledge looks at us, we stay silent but all know what he is trying to ask. I look at Gjallar, he nods to the Barons and raises his hand and counts down, 5… 4… 3… 2… 1. We all drop down the Barons step back in surprise, the air erupts with shots. Sledge runs up to the Barons, he is glowing blue and then jumps into the air, arc energy pulsating from his body, the second he touches the ground the Barons are sent back smoking from the energy just imparted on them. Captains and Vandals follow the Dregs flooding into the room. Nobu runs into the crowd, then Dregs fly back hitting the walls as I catch a glimpse of Nobu through the surging sea of enemies, he is using his spear. Sledge is keeping the Barons at bay with his shotgun, Gjallar joins in. The room is small but Kate still stays on a tall crate, picking off Captains, Sayora is fighting the House of Kings Baron on 1 on 1. I come out from behind my cover and decide to join Nobu. I draw my Katana and run in to the fight, hacking and slashing, blood splatters on my armor and Dregs scream. I get to Nobu. “Thought you could use some help!”

“I was doing just fine but thanks!” He responds, impaling a Vandal. He then spins the body around knocking over several Dregs and a Captain, he finishes the downed Fallen with quick revolver shots to the head. He takes the spear out of the Vandal and spins it around it hits a Captain he uses it as a meat shield then throws it to the ground and shoves the spear head through it’s head. I watch in awe, he is so—

“Look out!” Nobu screams, I look behind me a Baron stands in front me, my eyes widen, it’s arms raised, then it’s head erupts, Gjallar stands behind it, smoking shotgun in hand, Sledge is a few feet behind him, locked in a brawl with the one of the remaining two Barons. The House of Kings’ Baron has escaped but Sayora has the House of Winter’s detained at gunpoint. The other Fallen are backing off, me and Nobu are chasing them out of the room any thing that gets too close is impaled or turned into mincemeat. Eventually the Fallen have cleared out and the Devil Baron has been slain. We surround the remaining Baron.

“What have you been planning?” Kate demands. The Fallen Baron responds in Fallen, typical. Everyone looks to me for a translation.

“He says a lot of things that wouldn’t be kind of me to translate,” I translate, “I’ll simplify it too, ‘Screw you. I’ll never talk’. I suggest we take him back to the City and interrogate him. Torture if needed.” We all look at Gjallar, waiting for his final judgement. He nods.

“Let’s do it.” He agrees. Nobu gets behind the Baron and pokes it in the back it jumps to it’s feet, Nobu then stands along side me, Sledge leads the convoy, with me and Nobu not far behind, Gjallar and Sayora stand on either side of the Baron behind us and Kate pulls up the rear. We walk through the building Fallen dare not challenge us, the Dregs cower in fear behind cover, Vandals hide peeking out occasionally, only the Captains dare watch as we make our exit. We arrive at our ships, we decide Sledge should take the Baron, no Fallen would be dumb enough to dare challenge him after his fist fight with the Devil’s Baron. Sledge threatens the Baron and it slinks in shame into the ship. We all blast to the city.

Once we arrive Amanda Holiday greets us with a smile, “Well hello again Fireteam Seven! What did you do this time?” She gestures to our bloody and ether covered armor. Sledge hops out of the cockpit of his ship and goes into the cargo bay of his ship. He comes out dragging the flailing Baron by it’s legs. Amanda gasps and looks for a weapon.

“Calm down Amanda, we got a House of Winter Baron captured.” Gjallar states practically as Sledge motions over a few more guardians who restrain the Baron and drag him to a chamber so he can be interrogated later.

“We also got some of their guns, knives, and some engrams for Rahool!” Sledge exclaims. The thought of more powerful weapons and thicker armor is always on the mind of a guardian when they agree to join in a hunting or raiding session. That is one of the biggest reasons we do the crazy things we do. Well, that and making sure that all of the City is wiped from the face of the Earth. But loot is a big player. The whole prospect of being someone that has managed to make their armor so sturdy that it is nearly impossible to shoot through it with weapons that can one tap everything tantalizes even the most humble guardian. And Sledge is easily persuaded with the promise of rewards.

“Mine!” Nobu shouts as he grabs a Shock Knife and Blade, the Fallen melee weapons, and pockets them. Sledge simply shrugs. He knew that Nobu would go for those. Gjallar usually waits to grab the last bit of loot, he says he’s powerful enough. He isn’t wrong, but you can always improve. I take a Dreg’s pistol. Other guardians have named it the “Dreg’s Promise”. I like that name. Kate was dealt the short end of the stick and couldn’t find a sniper among the collection, so she took some engrams. Sledge took the Captain’s Shrapnel Launcher, nicknamed “The Lord of the Wolves” by those who fought against the House of Wolves. Sayora and Gjallar took the reimagining engrams. After all the engrams were decoded and and we had traded weapons around, Kate had gotten a new sniper, and all of our armor has improved using parts salvaged from the armor from the engrams.

We head to our personal quarters for a rest. I go into my storage room and get out of my armor placing it on a rack. I then lay on my bed, my room filled with a winter twilight. I am lost in thought, what are the Fallen planning? How did they get such a detailed map of the City? I sit up. I gaze around my room, my workshop with many specimens on it, my book shelf with every book imaginable, most of them downloaded on a database so I can access it on the fly. The softness of the lighting helps comfort me, I still am worried about the interrogation. This will either prove Kate and the civilians fears or dispel them. I hope my greatest fears aren’t going to become reality. But I fear they will. The Battle of Six Fronts was pretty bad, we beat them to the ground, but that only made the Devils more angry. I sit up and decide to go to the Archives and have a little study session to calm my racing mind.

I walk to the Archives and begin to research the Battle of Six Fronts. Analyzing the Devil’s actions, memorizing their tactics. I then watch large skirmishes and battles involving the Fallen. Seeing each individual house’s actions and tactics. I knew I would be ready for any attack to be thrown at us.

After my study hall —I spent hours in there— it came time for the interrogation. We watched the Baron pace around his cell for a minute and then begun. Gjallar, Sledge, and I walked into the cell, the Baron stood it’s ground, showing that it —if it could— would walk away from this with it’s dignity intact. Sayora crafted a translator for it. Sledge puts it on the Baron, but as he walks away it grabs his foot and slams him against the roof and then the floor then let’s go of him. “Guardian scum! Don’t touch me!” the Baron yells. I have my hands over where my mouth would be. Gjallar stands there, watching him, he then walks over to him, shotgun drawn, he takes Sledge’s pulse.

“He’s dead.” he announces. I look behind me, Sledge’s ghost stares back at me, seconds later the resurrection process finishes and with a flash of blue, Sledge appears in front of us. The Baron stares unsurprised. I look back at him and distance myself from the Baron, it stares back cold and unfazed.

“Not cool. Way underhanded.” Sledge says, shaking his head. I have to agree. But the Fallen aren’t exactly known for their honesty or honor.

“Now, what is it you are here for, o robbers of the Great Machine?” the Baron asks in a annoyed tone. He clearly isn’t happy about being captured. Why would he? Though we treat them as an enemy, it has to be better than the conditions in the Cosmodrome. Right? No matter, there are more important things to attend to.

“Now… what are you and the other houses planning?” Gjallar demands, he is done messing around.

“Why should I tell you Killer of Many?” The Baron spits, “The Fallen as a race may be sneaky and sly but we are loyal to our House and Banner. You are murders and robbers, I shall tell you nothing.”

I sigh, this Baron, no matter we can at least get a name… right? “Well… can you at least give us your name?” I ask politely, and in Fallen, hopefully swaying him.

The Baron pauses, seemingly surprised that I could speak his tongue. “Very well,” the Baron sighs, “I am Sorvak.” I inspect Sorvak, no dead ghosts on him, no guardian kills. Perhaps… no. That would raise an uproar throughout the City.

“Well Sorvak, would you be so kind as to tell us what you are putting together?” I ask politely, in Fallen again. He simply shakes his head. Gjallar sighs and points to Sledge.

“Work your magic.” He states.

“Any rules?” Sledge asks, apparently hoping that he can tear the limbs of Sorvak and leave him to bleed out.

“No killing, make sure that the stubborn shit can survive. He has valuable information.” Gjallar informs him.

Sledge sighs, “Fine…”

He trudges over to the Baron, who instantly goes for a grab. Sledge puts his arm in the way, a spike pierces the Baron’s hand, the room fills with the scream of pain that follows. I turn off the outside noise receptors until the screaming stops. Sledge pulls the spike out. The screaming is muffled, but it rings in my ears. I look back The three Hunters of our fireteam are flinching and looking away. I stare Nobu who signals to not look back, if that were Sledge I would really listen. I look at Gjallar who stands, not looking away, dear lord… he must have seen some serious shit. Sledge walks back up and then out of the room, Fallen blood covering his spikes, I look at Sorvak. There are puncture wounds all over him, mostly on his limbs. I turn on my reception system, he groans, I look to Gjallar, he hasn’t moved. “Now. Talk.” Gjallar spits, malice laced through his voice, “Things will get much worse if you don’t.”

“I don’t think…” I manage to say, “I don’t think he can talk… we should probably…” I approach the Fallen Baron, Gjallar grabs my shoulder and throws me back. I hit the wall, cracks ripple through it, I feel multiple bones shatter I bite my lip to keep me from screaming. My helmet is knocked off in the process. I wait for my ghost to patch me up. I can only sit and watch as Gjallar walks up to our prisoner and holds him up by his neck. His helmet shimmers and then disappears, what is he doing?!

“Talk you sick fuck. I have lost enough because of you! I refuse to stand by and watch more people die! What are you planning?!” He screams, tears streaming from his eyes, I feel my pain lessen, I look around, Sledge and the others enter silently. The Baron tries to talk but nothing comes out, Gjallar is strangling him with out realizing it. Sledge grabs Gjallar and pulls him off Sorvak. Gjallar flails around trying to get out of his grip, the Baron is on the floor, I am finished healing and I rush over to the bleeding Sorvak.

“Are you alright?” I ask in Fallen, tending to his wounds, Gjallar is screaming in the background. I am going to have to talk to him. The defeated Baron gazes at me, bewilderment in his eyes.

“Why…?” He asks. Every rasping breath feels like a tick on a countdown.

“Why what?” I ask. I cauterize wound after wound.

“Why save me? Me and my race have slaughtered millions, yet here you are.” He rasps, “Even us Fallen aren’t like this to each other… why are you doing this?” He looks at me with a look of confusion, his eyes unblinking and piercing.

“Well… I guess it is because you have valuable information…” I respond, but before I even finish he shakes his head.

“No… you seek consul, you seek allies. You want peace between our races. The years of killing have taken a toll on you.” He explains, how could he get all of that? My helmet is off but my face can’t be that revealing… can it? I look behind my back, Gjallar has escaped Sledges grasp, and is trying to get back in. I look back at Sorvak, worry in my eyes. I start to open my mouth and he talks before me.

“Go, I am not that easy to kill.” He tells me. I sigh and go back out. I decided to be a Stormcaller today, a rare skill that I have attained. Everyone is yelling and Kate is running around, having a panic attack, Sledge and Gjallar are grappling while Nobu a Sayora are knocked out on the ground. I have one shot at this, me and Sledge lock eyes, I nod, his eyes dart from me to Gjallar then back to me. I sneak up behind Gjallar and the grab his head, I send a quick shock through his body, stunning him and knocking him out. Sledge let’s go and sighs.

“Thanks. He got out of control… really out of control.” He says, “What do you think could have made the level headed Gjallar do that ?” As the others woke up I responded in equal confusion.

“I don’t know…” I say then my tone shifts to a more dark voice, “But I don’ think Sorvak will be the only one we’ll be interrogating.” The others look at me then nod, we don’t want to but we must. Gjallar could have killed our only source of information that could help us even guess what the Fallen are up to. We take Gjallar to a empty cell next door and Sledge and I, then go back to Sorvak, this time joined by Nobu.

“I see your friend has betrayed you.” Sorvak states calmly, he seems completely unsurprised at Gjallar actions. At first I wondered why. I soon remember their societal struggle, the Fallen were the same to even each other, just as sneaky and violent; constantly trying to claw their way to the position of Kell. Willing to do anything reach it. Nobu steps forward.

“Anything wrong with that?” Nobu growls, “So what? He’s had a hard time lately. It’s not like you treat each other any better.” I place my hand on Nobu’s shoulder. He growls but backs down.

The Baron laughs, his tone then shifts to a serious one speaking low and somewhat menacingly, “There is inn fighting among the Elinski for survival, not because some Baron of Winter refuses to talk. Teach your own to control themselves before talking about how another controls their community.” Nobu huffs, I see him clutch his gauntlet in a point I know he carries a hidden blade. I quickly grab his arm and look into his eyes, my helmet quickly being transmatted off my head.

“Nobu. Back down, he’s our only source of information about a possible upcoming attack.” I calmly state, he grips the point tighter before sighing and letting go, I took that as a ‘yeah you’re right’ and he lets his arms fall to his sides, Sledge is gritting his teeth and clenching his fist. I sigh. “Why don’t you two calm down and go to Sweep’s for a drink? I’ll handle this…”

“Bu-“ Sledge goes to interject but Nobu cuts him off before he can say anymore.

“Let’s go.” He says, grabbing Sledge by the back planting of his armor and pulling him. He grumbles, turning around and walking out. My Elinski Captive watches as they leave and inform the rest of the plan, to which they nod and exit. The Baron then turns his gaze to me.

“So, Sorvak. Let’s talk man on woman, what is really going on here?”

1 Like

list of problems :smiling_imp: for the first half

  1. waaaaay to many periods, and an atrocious lack of transition and semicolons, I get it that semicolons are scary, I used to be scared of them too

  2. implement the characters in a manner that is smooth and quick rather than just listing off the members of the team and their personality (I get that all of them are mentioned in the “start” of the story so that does make it hard to introduce characters as the main char meets them but I felt the need to point this out)

  3. minimal grammar issues due to a whole lot of periods, as I said before effective transitions would help this overflow of periods immensely (example)=

Blockquote I come out from behind my cover and decide to join Nobu. I draw my Katana and run in to the fight, hacking and slashing, blood splatters on my armor and Dregs scream.

good transition= I come out from behind cover, deciding to join Nobu in the fight; unsheathing my Katana I hack and slash at an unsuspecting dreg then another, blood and viscera drips from my amour as the dregs around me scream

now this may just be me but the second one seemed better while still preserving the meaning and words of the scene, still some problems though

  1. needs more of an apparent plot (1rst half)


  1. the characters actually felt like they were more than cardboard boxes with faces painted on, ive seen better, but those were in published books, in short, its some of the good stuff ive read on here

  2. though it lacks any loss or sadness ive seen worse stories (1rst half)

Thanks! Being one of my earlier works it’s understandable that it is… well not so good. I am honing my skills and getting ideas from the many RPs I am in (which you are in one of them). It honestly helps a lot. Thinking about how you are going to build your character(s) and how others will react to it.