Vex Origins, just spitballing

I always felt like the vex were addicted to problem solving. They were obviously born as organics, as is the way of life, and the obvious solution to being an organic species would be to upload everyone’s minds into a conductive jelly fluid. The obvious problem to being a civilization sized lake of mind fluid is that you can’t do anything, so they created robot bodies they can inhabit to accomplish things. The obvious problem to being a bunch of robotic jelly jars is that you can’t really go anywhere, so the solution is to create conduits that go everywhere and then transform planetary bodies into processing machines in order to continue computing as you spread out. At this point you run out of immediate problems, so the new problem is that the universe will presumably either undergo heat death, or it will collapse back into a new universal singularity, neither of which have obvious solutions, and they can’t be sure which outcome is more likely. So they compute, and compute, and decide that the best route is to split up and develop a win condition for any end state that reality ends up with. So you get really good at simulating and analyzing and thinking, and in order to facilitate that you keep turning planets into servers and building confluxes and pouring brain jelly into waterfalls. Eventually a giant 3-eyed cockroach cuts a portal into your DNS server, so you send your jelly jars in to figure out what’s going on. Enter Quria, Blade Transform. You spend a couple decades figuring out why physics doesn’t apply in the place where the magic Shrimp monsters come from, until your discover Sword Logic and worm worship. Eventually the ghost boss kills your wireless router and turns him into a ghost too, but the important thing is that now you need to figure out what the hell Darkness is and why worshipping gross ass worms can warp reality. That really complicates your whole “win all possible end states” goal, since you can’t simulate darkness and understanding worm worship doesn’t work either. So you create the black garden and start experimenting with worshipping so you can prepare for the end of the universe. The real thorn in your side, however, is the giant volley ball that spews out “that-which-we-cannot-simulate”. Literally can’t even simulate what that’s all about. Can’t plan when you can’t simulate. Can’t solve problems if you can’t plan. Should probably help destroy the volley ball so you can get back to solving the heat death of the universe, which is what you wanted to do in the first place.
Apologies for the stream-of-consciousness-zero-formatting approach, hopefully this reads somewhat ok


This had some of the most hilarious descriptions of things in the Destiny universe I’ve ever seen. “Robotic jelly jars”, “giant 3-eyed cockroach”, “wireless router”, “giant volley ball”… I was laughing so much while reading this :joy:


Really awesome! It would make it far more interesting reading through this forum if you posted more often! :joy::joy:(not that Ishtar is boring in the first place)

Those are all awesome descriptions. Would the Guardians be called illuminated corpses with fancy shmancy weapons that shouldn’t physically exist or be possible to hold?

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Thats the scary thing about the vex. Their origins could be tomorrow, 1000 years from now, or 1000 years ago. The way they can ride the waves of time, there is no telling where they come from, or when. In a sense, its possible it all started with one small splat of electrocuted milk, which had the power to duplicate itself through alternate universes in time and space, therefor in a split second whole armies, fortresses, vaults, minds, and shit was created as if it allways existed, or never did. :open_mouth:

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And you have to remember that from the VoG, there are Precursors, Descendepants, and normal Vex.

The conflux of time is immensely complicated and it appears evident that (at least to me) the vex and things like the black garden are from an alternative timeline. Probably where they dominate the entire existence. The earliest mention of the vex I can find is in the books of sorrow when they enter Oryx’s throne world. So this means they existed before this happened obviously, but the only way to reach the place they really come from would be to enter by accident like what happened with Crota. Without knowing where they came from there is no way to know how they came to be

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